Thursday, December 17, 2009

One-liner # 2

These lines aptly describe me and the majority of my life so far:

Khyalon main laakhon baatein yun toh keh gaya
Bola kuch na teray saamnay
Huay na beyganay
Tum hokay aur kay
Dekho tum na meray hi banay

(Translation -
In my thoughts, I said a million things to you
But remained silent in your presence)

from Tu Jaane Na - Ajab Prem ki Ghazab Kahani

Lyrics like these always touch a chord in my dil. Songs like Keh do jo bhi mann main aaye by Junaid Jamshed, these are the songs I identify with. Although, they are primarily sung by boys and about boys not being able to state their feelings, girls can probably identify with the sentiment more. The way things are girls expect boys to be the ones to take the initiative in asking them out or sharing their feelings. It's just sort of unnatural for the girl to be the initiator in these matters. I'm not saying girls can't, it's just not in our nature nor is it what society has programmed us to do. Girls want to be taken care of, to feel that someone is looking out for them. Somehow, a guy telling a girl what he feels for her, translates to us(=girls) thinking that he'll be there for us. If he's willing to take a risk in asking out a girl that means that he has confidence in himself (which is always quite sexy) and has faith in what can be. It also shows that he is willing to fight for her and he'll stand by her. Girls, on the other hand, can't just walk up to a guy and say, "hey, wanna go out?" I'm not even sure how a guy would react to that. I assume he'd be ecstatic but on the other hand, he could think that the right of a crucial moment in their relationship was snatched from him. It could go either way. Just like everything else in life. *sigh*

Point being, a girl harbors all these thoughts and feelings and what-if scenarios in her head unable to do anything about them, yet these songs are written/sung in a male voice. I think they are definitely more representative of what lies in a girl's heart.  At least if you're anything like me. I have a billion and one thoughts in my head about what can be and what I'd say  if I got the chance. It's just that I probably won't ever get the chance.

P.S.
In the video of this song, Ranbir Kapoor looks ABSOLUTELY yummy! I watched the video on repeat for over an hour in one go. I've been into him since  I saw Wake up Sid. He is physically perfect. He is lanky but slightly built. Tall. Nice, boy-ish looks. Perfect facial hair(in this song). Perfect amount and location of body hair(in Wake up Sid, it was all shaved/waxed off in APKGK :( ) Yes, I've done a thorough analysis of his looks and I am not ashamed to admit it (nor to share my analysis:P) If anyone finds a Pakistani replacement of him, please send him my way. I'll appreciate it.
P.P.S.
Finally, got to watch this movie after over 6 weeks of waiting (3 weeks out of which the DVD was sitting in my living room). It was alright. It's a good movie to watch if bored but the predictability of the story annoyed me. Although, the comedy is really well-done and very different compared to usual Bollywood slapsticks. Watch it for the songs and comedy (and Ranbir) if nothing else!

Random article a friend sent

My favorite part of the article:
Sometimes a marriage can be stronger if you have reservations. If your bond seems a little fragile, you take better care to preserve it.

Read more if you want to/are bored:

Sunday, December 6, 2009

I think it's the stress talking...

Sometimes I wonder if it'd just be easier to get hitched.

Single-dom is fun...although, I've never known anything but. But I have a pretty good idea it is much more hassle-free.

But sometimes, you see other people or hear stories, of all the lovey-dovey-ness of the dating/committed/married and think to yourself, I want that...and preferably now.

I guess, it just seems easier, somehow. A very crucial part of your life figured out.

Of course, guarantees come with nothing in life...so it may or may not last or it may not be all you hoped but you stick it out anyway.

But it still seems a lot easier, or more so, there's a hope that it might bring with it a peace of mind that is currently not present.

I know, the grass is always greener on the other side.

A colleague of mine who had been dating a guy for a couple of years I think, once asked me if I was single or not. I said I was. She replied, "That's good, you're lucky. Enjoy being single. Relationships come with added responsibilities, an extra person to include in your decision-making or plans and is just a bit of a hassle."
Clearly, she seems to be in an unhappy relationship, but I don't think she was. She was just being honest.  I get what she was saying. It is added stress.

If you're Muslim or even desi, you usually give up single-dom with marriage (and by single-dom, in this case, I mean, living without the other person). Marriage brings about not only a whole other person to deal with, but a whole other family! I'm definitely part of the crowd that thinks that marriages are between two families,  not just two individuals. I'm not saying that family interference in the couple's relationship affairs are fair-game but each of you has to adjust to the family of the other person. There's an extra set of people to keep in-touch with. An extra set of people to visit. An extra set of people to add to your Facebook limited profile (just kididng) An extra set of people you have to be extra-nice to too. Plus, if you marry someone whose family values are totally different from yours, then that is even more to deal with than the already huge burden of dealing with living with a whole new, ready-made person with their own beliefs, values, ideals and mannerisms.

It's not easy. Relationships or single-dom. Each has it's shortcomings. But I guess I feel that my life would be easier in a relationship. Of course, then I think about all the added baggage I'd have to deal with and stick to single-dom, at least, until school's over. But the peace of mind, of knowing who you want to spend the rest of your life with, that's priceless. I would love to have that. To have that part of my life figured out with all the uncertainty that surrounds life anyway. But then that opens the whole can of worms of what I'm actually looking for and how will I know this person is the one. Do I even know what I want? or what I'm looking for? I mean, I've not even had a 'Mr. Maybe' this far...or a Mr. Anything. It's all just so complicated.

I've heard the two sides, marry your best friend or marry someone you kinda know and figure life out together. I still don't know which approach I'd prefer. I always think I'd prefer the best friend approach but I don't know. It doesn't really matter in the end. You may be mentally compatible and physically attracted to someone, but the little quirks that you discover while living with them might irk you to no end. Or you may not know someone that well and they'd turn out to be totally cool to live with and adjust to. That's the thing though. There is no right answer, there is no clear path. It's all so ambiguous, so hazy. The haziness kills me. I can't stand it. Uncertainty is just sucky. It breeds such unproductiveness, laziness and restlessness in me, I don't like it.

I think its the stress of the finals talking. For some reason, girls like to have conversations like these under stressful situations, to stress themselves out further. It's amazing that women still out-live men with all this pressure we put on ourselves.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Who's that?

Is it weird that every time my cousin-in-law posts pictures of her two kids, I totally don't recognize one of them? Every time I wonder, who the hell is that?  It's because my niece looks like a nephew. I have no idea why it seems that way to me...but that kid just does not look like a girl. I haven't met her yet (and maybe that's why). God help me if I ever say this in front of someone in my family, especially her dad. He'd probably feed me to lions.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

The Girl Effect

I found this link to a video on Oprah's website that someone posted:
http://www.oprah.com/media/20090925-tows-girl-effect

It is about how the education of women can change the world. How women are  valuable for more than their child-bearing abilities. If people in developing countries, including and especially Pakistan, could watch and understand the concept of this video...it'd no longer be a 3rd world nation.

I've always been an advocate for education. I think Pakistan needs education to thrive. Unless that's provided to the lower classes, nothing will change. They will keep being oppressed by their (mostly uneducated) feudal lords and listen to religious opinions of the Taliban because they have NO opinions of their own. To build these opinions and bring change, education is important!

Of course, in developing countries, most people's primary concern is how and where their next meal is coming from. But, like the video shows, some kind of investment for sustenance of these people needs to be made before you can educate them. Make this investment an incentive for sending their children to school; take it away if the family is not adhering to sending their girls to school. It is an excellent concept, and it's not unattainable either.

I personally think Shehzad Roy's Zindagi Trust has done it right. It's my most favorite charity. He pays children to be in class an amount equivalent to what they would make begging on the street. He is giving them an incentive while educating them. You can't learn if you're hungry. The basic needs of people have to be met.

Education is important, educating a girl, even more so. Usually, in most cultures, women are responsible for the brought up of their children. They need to be educated to do this correctly. To raise human beings that will work for the betterment of society. Women carry the generation forward. Without them, the world would be stagnant.

I hope this video does reach people and they do get something out of it. Especially the developing world. Don't underestimate the power of a woman, especially an educated one!