Sometimes you just feel happy for someone else. A friend of a friend whom I don't know very well got engaged recently. At first, when I heard the news, I was a bit jealous and in a "why not me?" mode. But then when I saw the proof in photos and how everyone was glowing, that jealousy turned into hope and the happiness shone through. Looking through the pictures, I just felt HAPPY. Just happy for her, for her finding someone, for it working out for them. And hopeful. Hopeful about things working out for me the way they did for her, or even better than that. I may not always admit this (but most people have figured it out anyway), I would love to be committed at this point in time. Since I'm graduating next year, the sense of growing old and being single is starting to loom over my head. I have to actually grow up in less than a year and a half. Be a grown up. With a job (iA). With bills. With responsibilities. How scary! I'd never get married during school, not in a bajillion years, but post-grad, I would prefer to be married within a year or two and right now, I'd like to be in a getting-to-know-someone stage with engagement on the horizon. *sigh* You don't always get what you want, do you?
The reason I want to be committed sooner rather than later is because I'd want to be with someone around my age, whose stepped into the real world at the same time or just a few years before me. I want to be able to build a life with someone. Buy our first home together and travel and all of that. Grow with each other. Have time to ourselves before we have to go on a mad rush to procreate. Marrying someone established who is too set in their ways to compromise their way of life or their values, which could also hold true for myself in a few years, is not something I want. The younger the people are in a relationship, the easier it is to mould themselves to the other's personalities and idiosyncrasies, which will most likely lead to an easier lifetime of togetherness.
But then, I think of the whole desi way of doing things. The rishta process: the finding out about someone, the "biodata" sending, the picture exchange, the nothing happening or the moving forward. I HUGELY oppose this whole process, it pisses me off. I'd rather meet someone through a mutual friend, get to know each other, and then involve families. After all, it's the two of us that have to lead a life together, not all these in-between people. Just thinking about having to endure the bullshit that is the rishta process makes me averse to the whole concept of marriage. Thus, currently, I have decided to only get hitched to someone I meet or am introduced to through someone, where there's a conversation before an exchange of resumes and cover letters. I'd love to say that I'd only marry someone I find myself and we fall in love and all that jazz, but the chances of finding a good-enough guy in the blackhole-like city I live in are nill...therefore, I put my faith in the hands of mutual friend-ness.
(FYI, no, there is no rishta process-type activity going on at my place...I'm generally letting out my frustrations with it AND just to clarify, rishta process or no rishta process, the decision will be entirely mine. My family won't force me into anything (just making sure EVERYONE is CLEAR on that point!) )
Anyways, not that she'll ever read this, I do wish my friend the very best!
Monday, January 25, 2010
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Adorable
Talking to a friend getting married in the summer right after I'd had a conversation with his fiance (whom I haven't met yet)
Me: I really like her, she's nice
Him: Nice? She's the best!
Awwwww
I find it adorable when guys are able to express their feelings openly for someone they're involved with to someone else.
Me: I really like her, she's nice
Him: Nice? She's the best!
Awwwww
I find it adorable when guys are able to express their feelings openly for someone they're involved with to someone else.
Aal izz Well, Thanks to Oprah
"Aal izz well" -This is what was whispering on everyone's lips when 3 Idiots ended. I watched this movie twice in theaters in about 24 hours. At a theater much inconvenient to get to. In pretty much packed houses. Just read today that it broke all kinds of records, or is about to do so anyway.
Random tidbit: Did you know Idiot is supposed to stand for "I'll Do It on my Own Terms" in regards to this movie?
I love Aamir Khan...I absolutely adore him. I call him the "Tom Hanks of Bollywood" Both are fantastic actors and I love them purely on the merit of their acting. I was also anxiously waiting for this movie. I downloaded the soundtrack as soon as it came out, I avoided seeing trailers or reading facebook statuses post-release and I even made sure NO ONE discussed it at a dawat I went to where everyone but me had seen it (I didn't get to see it opening day because I was in Vegas).
But what did I think of the movie, you ask? I was not wowed by it. Usually, in the last 2-3 years, I walk out of Aamir Khan movies completely in awe. I loved Ghajini, I loved Taare Zameen Par more but my all-time favorite is Rang de Basanti. Fanaa was meh and I never saw Mangal Pandey. I did not walk out of 3 Idiots completely in awe. Although, I have been thinking about all that was discussed in the movie. I think the reason I wasn't completely bowled over is because the hard-hitting subjects that were dealt with in the movie came out cushioned by all the comedy that accompanied them. It reduced the impact of the core message...which is a very very important message. Actually, there were more like 2 messages that were addressed: (SPOILER ALERT - Do not read past this point if you haven't seen the movie - unless you don't care about knowing the story)
1. Suicide rate amongst students in India (I'm guessing it can be stretched to the subcontinent and include Pakistan, possibly even China since they put similar stresses on their students)
2. Seek knowledge, not a degree or a position/rank.
"Parhai karnay kay liye fees nahi chahiye, uniform chahiye."
That is what Aamir's character told a boy working in the boys' hostel of the college. Just buy the uniform and go sit in a class. He himself would constantly get kicked out of his classes and go sit in other classes to learn.
"Seek excellence, success will follow"
In the end of the movie, Aamir had no degree but he had gained the knowledge and strived for excellence and was more successful than anyone else in his class/batch. Technically, no one in the world could have traced a formal education back to him if they did a background check on him but he had the knowledge and the person he went to school for had the degree but no expertise (Basically, he was poor and smart and went to school in place of his master's son...which was fine because he loved learning)
The movie also stressed the amount of importance grades and class ranks are given in education and how they make students strive for the wrong thing. Parents and teachers want children to come in first place or get first division. "It's a race and my kid has to win" is the thought most parents have. It's true. My parents are the same. Thankfully, they've let me be since I started university but I haven't disappointed. But personally, I used to place A LOT of emphasis on my grades just because of the way I was raised. The only thing I would constantly whine about(and still do from time to time) is school and grades. It's just how I am.
I've changed my thinking a lot though..but the movie had nothing to do with it. I was inspired by an Oprah episode on, wait for it, CHEATING that I saw in my 1st year of Pharmacy, I think, or maybe beginning of 2nd year. Anyways, it was about men cheating on their wives. Basically, it resulted in me not caring about my grades anymore. I'm in a professional program, I just need to pass. Grades make no difference, I'll get the same job as other people iA. Most of what I learn, I learn it through work anyways, not school. I just use what I learn in school to strengthen my skills and knowledge at work.
Desis put so much emphasis on education and how a good education leads to a good, educated spouse so you can have nice, educated children and then you can also have lots of money because of your education. But all of this goes down the drain as soon as your spouse cheats on you. The man(since the episode was about cheating men) you've been married to, have children with, shared a life and a bed with for X number of years (and usually X was a number over at least 5 or 10) suddenly is not the person you thought he was. He's a lying, cheating low-life who has no respect for you or the life you share together and decides to periodically get-it-on with someone because he's bored or whatever. (Interesting fact: Over 80%(I'm pretty sure) of men say the women they are cheating with is less attractive than their wife) What will you have to fall back on now? I mean, yes, as a woman, a good education leading to a secure job is essential these days, not only because most households need to be two-income households to fulfill increasing demands accompanied by rising prices but also because, women need to be able to sustain themselves and their children if their marriage goes down the crapper. This made me realize that enjoy the time you have pre-marriage. Who knows who you'll end up with and what direction that relationship will take? At least, while you're living at home with your parents, you can lead a less-stressed out life by focusing less on your grades and school and more on the fun, fleeting moments of life, especially those spent with friends and family. University will only happen once. Enjoy your time. It will never come back. This is the way I started thinking once I saw that episode (I agree, my mind is weird and connects odd things together but it all makes sense up here, people, it all makes sense!)
Maybe that's why the movie didn't have the same impact on me that it did on my brother, for example. He was completely in love with it; he even took his non-desi friend to see it again a few days after (his friend loved it too).My brother is at a point in his life where he has just started caring about his grades (he breezed through high school, I didn't, so serves him right to stress now), education and future. I'm past that stage. I'm in a professional program. I have the liberty to not stress anymore. And I don't like to stress anymore.
Maybe that's why I wasn't in awe walking out of 3 Idiots because everything Aamir Khan was trying to convey, I already self-learnt (and apply) through an Oprah episode!
Random tidbit: Did you know Idiot is supposed to stand for "I'll Do It on my Own Terms" in regards to this movie?
I love Aamir Khan...I absolutely adore him. I call him the "Tom Hanks of Bollywood" Both are fantastic actors and I love them purely on the merit of their acting. I was also anxiously waiting for this movie. I downloaded the soundtrack as soon as it came out, I avoided seeing trailers or reading facebook statuses post-release and I even made sure NO ONE discussed it at a dawat I went to where everyone but me had seen it (I didn't get to see it opening day because I was in Vegas).
But what did I think of the movie, you ask? I was not wowed by it. Usually, in the last 2-3 years, I walk out of Aamir Khan movies completely in awe. I loved Ghajini, I loved Taare Zameen Par more but my all-time favorite is Rang de Basanti. Fanaa was meh and I never saw Mangal Pandey. I did not walk out of 3 Idiots completely in awe. Although, I have been thinking about all that was discussed in the movie. I think the reason I wasn't completely bowled over is because the hard-hitting subjects that were dealt with in the movie came out cushioned by all the comedy that accompanied them. It reduced the impact of the core message...which is a very very important message. Actually, there were more like 2 messages that were addressed: (SPOILER ALERT - Do not read past this point if you haven't seen the movie - unless you don't care about knowing the story)
1. Suicide rate amongst students in India (I'm guessing it can be stretched to the subcontinent and include Pakistan, possibly even China since they put similar stresses on their students)
2. Seek knowledge, not a degree or a position/rank.
"Parhai karnay kay liye fees nahi chahiye, uniform chahiye."
That is what Aamir's character told a boy working in the boys' hostel of the college. Just buy the uniform and go sit in a class. He himself would constantly get kicked out of his classes and go sit in other classes to learn.
"Seek excellence, success will follow"
In the end of the movie, Aamir had no degree but he had gained the knowledge and strived for excellence and was more successful than anyone else in his class/batch. Technically, no one in the world could have traced a formal education back to him if they did a background check on him but he had the knowledge and the person he went to school for had the degree but no expertise (Basically, he was poor and smart and went to school in place of his master's son...which was fine because he loved learning)
The movie also stressed the amount of importance grades and class ranks are given in education and how they make students strive for the wrong thing. Parents and teachers want children to come in first place or get first division. "It's a race and my kid has to win" is the thought most parents have. It's true. My parents are the same. Thankfully, they've let me be since I started university but I haven't disappointed. But personally, I used to place A LOT of emphasis on my grades just because of the way I was raised. The only thing I would constantly whine about(and still do from time to time) is school and grades. It's just how I am.
I've changed my thinking a lot though..but the movie had nothing to do with it. I was inspired by an Oprah episode on, wait for it, CHEATING that I saw in my 1st year of Pharmacy, I think, or maybe beginning of 2nd year. Anyways, it was about men cheating on their wives. Basically, it resulted in me not caring about my grades anymore. I'm in a professional program, I just need to pass. Grades make no difference, I'll get the same job as other people iA. Most of what I learn, I learn it through work anyways, not school. I just use what I learn in school to strengthen my skills and knowledge at work.
Desis put so much emphasis on education and how a good education leads to a good, educated spouse so you can have nice, educated children and then you can also have lots of money because of your education. But all of this goes down the drain as soon as your spouse cheats on you. The man(since the episode was about cheating men) you've been married to, have children with, shared a life and a bed with for X number of years (and usually X was a number over at least 5 or 10) suddenly is not the person you thought he was. He's a lying, cheating low-life who has no respect for you or the life you share together and decides to periodically get-it-on with someone because he's bored or whatever. (Interesting fact: Over 80%(I'm pretty sure) of men say the women they are cheating with is less attractive than their wife) What will you have to fall back on now? I mean, yes, as a woman, a good education leading to a secure job is essential these days, not only because most households need to be two-income households to fulfill increasing demands accompanied by rising prices but also because, women need to be able to sustain themselves and their children if their marriage goes down the crapper. This made me realize that enjoy the time you have pre-marriage. Who knows who you'll end up with and what direction that relationship will take? At least, while you're living at home with your parents, you can lead a less-stressed out life by focusing less on your grades and school and more on the fun, fleeting moments of life, especially those spent with friends and family. University will only happen once. Enjoy your time. It will never come back. This is the way I started thinking once I saw that episode (I agree, my mind is weird and connects odd things together but it all makes sense up here, people, it all makes sense!)
Maybe that's why the movie didn't have the same impact on me that it did on my brother, for example. He was completely in love with it; he even took his non-desi friend to see it again a few days after (his friend loved it too).My brother is at a point in his life where he has just started caring about his grades (he breezed through high school, I didn't, so serves him right to stress now), education and future. I'm past that stage. I'm in a professional program. I have the liberty to not stress anymore. And I don't like to stress anymore.
Maybe that's why I wasn't in awe walking out of 3 Idiots because everything Aamir Khan was trying to convey, I already self-learnt (and apply) through an Oprah episode!
Maybe one day I'll tell you
Today has been super interesting. It might be a defining day. My thoughts on a certain subject might be changed forever.
I also went to the movies, and sat in 3 different movies for varying times: Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus (saw a couple of Heath Ledger scenes which was enough to make me happy) for 10 minutes, Daybreakers for 20 minutes(gross! and seemed stupid) and Leap Year (all of it!)
We got out of Daybreakers(the movie we bought the ticket for) ten minutes after the half hour cut-off to switch movies and the guy wouldn't let us switch...so we were trying to figure out which movie to sneak into anyway(we did have a ticket) when the nice desi, Muslim manager let us switch! He saved the night so woo-hoo for him!
Leap Year was alright...nothing special. I really wanted to see The Princess and the Frog but that didn't happen. Oh well, an experience nonetheless...and got to spend time with an old friend after quite a while.
So different movie experience aside, the night-in post-movie has been really interesting. It MIGHT have implications on some decisions on what routes to take I had been mulling over recently. I shouldn't get ahead of myself though. I tend to do that sometimes as much as I try not to.
So, note to self: Stop thinking about this and immerse yourself in notes...this semseter is going to suck!
I also went to the movies, and sat in 3 different movies for varying times: Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus (saw a couple of Heath Ledger scenes which was enough to make me happy) for 10 minutes, Daybreakers for 20 minutes(gross! and seemed stupid) and Leap Year (all of it!)
We got out of Daybreakers(the movie we bought the ticket for) ten minutes after the half hour cut-off to switch movies and the guy wouldn't let us switch...so we were trying to figure out which movie to sneak into anyway(we did have a ticket) when the nice desi, Muslim manager let us switch! He saved the night so woo-hoo for him!
Leap Year was alright...nothing special. I really wanted to see The Princess and the Frog but that didn't happen. Oh well, an experience nonetheless...and got to spend time with an old friend after quite a while.
So different movie experience aside, the night-in post-movie has been really interesting. It MIGHT have implications on some decisions on what routes to take I had been mulling over recently. I shouldn't get ahead of myself though. I tend to do that sometimes as much as I try not to.
So, note to self: Stop thinking about this and immerse yourself in notes...this semseter is going to suck!
Monday, January 4, 2010
Out with the old, in with the new!
What I did in 2009:
1. I survived the worst year of my Pharmacy education...not with flying colors, but survived nonetheless (not that I aimed to excel with flying colors)
2. I didn't go anywhere in the summer. For the past 6 summers, I had always ended up in USA if not Pakistan.
3. I did end up going to USA towards the end of the year, so I still haven't broken my "I go to the US once a year" thing..yay!
4. In accordance with 3, awesome family trip to Las Vegas! I always wanted to do Vegas for my 21st Birthday...didn't happen but at least I got to go while I was 21. (I have no idea why I was more excited turning 21 than 18, the legal Canadian age...probably because I know I won't do anything in Canada but might end up taking advantage of my American legal-ness with cousins etc) Also, first family trip in ages where we weren't going to visit other family. So weird not having someone picking us up from the airport.
5. I stuck to a job for a year and a half. Longest job ever! In the past, I've always been very non-chalant about work...probably because it's been stupid high-school type positions, working as a cashier for a summer, for example. This time it was my first Pharmacy job and lo and behold, I didn't get bored of it! Even towards the end, I only switched jobs because I wanted a different experience (while it's still safe to job-hop...can't be doing this post-graduation)
6. I learnt a HELL OF A LOT about myself and my satisfaction with solitude. I can survive on my own. I don't need anyone. It is totally possible. I love knowing that but I'd still like to surround myself with people, in minimal numbers.
7. I've given up on this whole "shaadi" business. I refuse to do it now. It will happen, if it's meant to, when the time is right and with a person that will fall into my lap. I refuse to search anymore.
8. I gave up on something happening next year that I had been excited about for the past couple of years. To the point, that I don't even want to go anymore. Time changes everything. And everyone. I am dreading having to go.
9. I got closer to a dream using methods I never thought I would and than it was snatched away from me. But a damned hope still lingers. I am sick of this dream now but I still can't let it go. Not until it's completely out of my hands.
10. Another route life could have taken re-surfaced unexpectedly. I still wonder if life will ever steer itself back onto that path, I don't think it will and I don't think it'd be best for me either. But I forever wonder.
11. I discovered the world of blogging and started blogging myself. I never thought that'd happen. I always considered blogging to be for writers and people bored out of their minds or celebrities. But I find it therapeutic. Even if no one is reading. I blog for me. But I do hope that someone out there will read this, relate to it and be assured that there are others going through similar experiences. Ultimately, that is what the blogging world did for me, and this is my way of giving back.
12. I had the most confusing first half of the year emotionally. It was something I've never experienced before. But I've been through it and am hopefully stronger cause of it. I definitely learned a lot from it.
13. I started working out. This was amazing. I never knew I had it in me. I surpassed my weight loss goal *A* and even got a bit toned but haven't worked out in over a month. I need to get back on the treadmill. Not only is it physically rewarding but also keeps one sane. I also ran at speeds I never thought I could run at for time frames I thought were unachievable. I learned that I can win at a battle against myself. It's truly liberating. I can't thank the heavens enough for introducing me to this phenomenon. As a result, I've also started paying more attention to what and how much I eat. And I drink more water. All in all, one of the biggest achievements/discoveries of 2009 for me. But now, my biggest fear is gaining back the weight. *Need to get back on the treadmill, or at least, the elliptical*
14.I lived on my own for about 8-10 days in total. In a very small town. For a rotation. It would have been better if I was able to learn more during the rotation. I always wanted to work in a hospital but I learnt little about it. I did gain an awesome reference though.
15. This was the year I was supposed to graduate in but didn't. Very sad! Especially when people I went to Junior High and High School with were graduating all around me. I hate being in a longer program! This year will be worse since people a year younger will all be graduating too *sigh*
What I hope from 2010:
1. Surviving this final "educational" portion of my degree. It will be an AWFUL semester. April can't come soon enough. Next (academic) year, it's rotations, stupid courses and graduation! iA
2. Going on a school trip, an overnight school trip. 5 days in Toronto and Montreal. I am SOOOOOO excited!! My parents aren't happy but sometimes you just gotta do stuff for yourself. I have been wanting to see Niagara Falls since the day I landed in Canada.
3. I'm hoping my super short trip to Pakistan will surprise me. I have little hope for this trip. I will iA make a second, slightly longer trip to Pakistan in December, just for the grandparents.
4. I crave stability in the love life department. I hope to achieve a semblance of it this year. I know it can't be forced but if it even starts heading in the right direction, I'd be content.
5. Starting a new job at an organization that may prove to be where I'll end up working post-graduation. I hope they love me and I love them iA (they do pay better than my previous jobs!)
6. April 2010 will mark the completion of our 10th year in Canada. It has been an eventful decade.
Looking forward to all that life has to offer...iA the next decade is just as interesting as the previous one!
Happy New Year Everyone! Hope everyone's year turns out to be all they hope for and more!
1. I survived the worst year of my Pharmacy education...not with flying colors, but survived nonetheless (not that I aimed to excel with flying colors)
2. I didn't go anywhere in the summer. For the past 6 summers, I had always ended up in USA if not Pakistan.
3. I did end up going to USA towards the end of the year, so I still haven't broken my "I go to the US once a year" thing..yay!
4. In accordance with 3, awesome family trip to Las Vegas! I always wanted to do Vegas for my 21st Birthday...didn't happen but at least I got to go while I was 21. (I have no idea why I was more excited turning 21 than 18, the legal Canadian age...probably because I know I won't do anything in Canada but might end up taking advantage of my American legal-ness with cousins etc) Also, first family trip in ages where we weren't going to visit other family. So weird not having someone picking us up from the airport.
5. I stuck to a job for a year and a half. Longest job ever! In the past, I've always been very non-chalant about work...probably because it's been stupid high-school type positions, working as a cashier for a summer, for example. This time it was my first Pharmacy job and lo and behold, I didn't get bored of it! Even towards the end, I only switched jobs because I wanted a different experience (while it's still safe to job-hop...can't be doing this post-graduation)
6. I learnt a HELL OF A LOT about myself and my satisfaction with solitude. I can survive on my own. I don't need anyone. It is totally possible. I love knowing that but I'd still like to surround myself with people, in minimal numbers.
7. I've given up on this whole "shaadi" business. I refuse to do it now. It will happen, if it's meant to, when the time is right and with a person that will fall into my lap. I refuse to search anymore.
8. I gave up on something happening next year that I had been excited about for the past couple of years. To the point, that I don't even want to go anymore. Time changes everything. And everyone. I am dreading having to go.
9. I got closer to a dream using methods I never thought I would and than it was snatched away from me. But a damned hope still lingers. I am sick of this dream now but I still can't let it go. Not until it's completely out of my hands.
10. Another route life could have taken re-surfaced unexpectedly. I still wonder if life will ever steer itself back onto that path, I don't think it will and I don't think it'd be best for me either. But I forever wonder.
11. I discovered the world of blogging and started blogging myself. I never thought that'd happen. I always considered blogging to be for writers and people bored out of their minds or celebrities. But I find it therapeutic. Even if no one is reading. I blog for me. But I do hope that someone out there will read this, relate to it and be assured that there are others going through similar experiences. Ultimately, that is what the blogging world did for me, and this is my way of giving back.
12. I had the most confusing first half of the year emotionally. It was something I've never experienced before. But I've been through it and am hopefully stronger cause of it. I definitely learned a lot from it.
13. I started working out. This was amazing. I never knew I had it in me. I surpassed my weight loss goal *A* and even got a bit toned but haven't worked out in over a month. I need to get back on the treadmill. Not only is it physically rewarding but also keeps one sane. I also ran at speeds I never thought I could run at for time frames I thought were unachievable. I learned that I can win at a battle against myself. It's truly liberating. I can't thank the heavens enough for introducing me to this phenomenon. As a result, I've also started paying more attention to what and how much I eat. And I drink more water. All in all, one of the biggest achievements/discoveries of 2009 for me. But now, my biggest fear is gaining back the weight. *Need to get back on the treadmill, or at least, the elliptical*
14.I lived on my own for about 8-10 days in total. In a very small town. For a rotation. It would have been better if I was able to learn more during the rotation. I always wanted to work in a hospital but I learnt little about it. I did gain an awesome reference though.
15. This was the year I was supposed to graduate in but didn't. Very sad! Especially when people I went to Junior High and High School with were graduating all around me. I hate being in a longer program! This year will be worse since people a year younger will all be graduating too *sigh*
What I hope from 2010:
1. Surviving this final "educational" portion of my degree. It will be an AWFUL semester. April can't come soon enough. Next (academic) year, it's rotations, stupid courses and graduation! iA
2. Going on a school trip, an overnight school trip. 5 days in Toronto and Montreal. I am SOOOOOO excited!! My parents aren't happy but sometimes you just gotta do stuff for yourself. I have been wanting to see Niagara Falls since the day I landed in Canada.
3. I'm hoping my super short trip to Pakistan will surprise me. I have little hope for this trip. I will iA make a second, slightly longer trip to Pakistan in December, just for the grandparents.
4. I crave stability in the love life department. I hope to achieve a semblance of it this year. I know it can't be forced but if it even starts heading in the right direction, I'd be content.
5. Starting a new job at an organization that may prove to be where I'll end up working post-graduation. I hope they love me and I love them iA (they do pay better than my previous jobs!)
6. April 2010 will mark the completion of our 10th year in Canada. It has been an eventful decade.
Looking forward to all that life has to offer...iA the next decade is just as interesting as the previous one!
Happy New Year Everyone! Hope everyone's year turns out to be all they hope for and more!
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