- curl up on the sofa and re-watch movies all night long. Movies like Kal ho na ho, Rock on, Jab we met, Jaanue tu ya jaane na, Sleepless in Seattle, The Wedding Singer, A Walk to Remember, You've Got Mail etc. Anything sweet, sappy and invoking the urge to cry or sob, preferably
- be quarantined to my room with a fever...as morbid as that sounds. But the reason behind it is that I desperately need to clean my room and I don't want to go to work tomorrow and I also need extra studying time
- go back to easier times
- go see my high school friends and some university friends
- not live in this place or study at this University
- live on my own in a city I enjoy with nicer, friendlier people
- figure out if I'm going to be going to Pakistan next summer or not. With everything going on in that country, I am willing to not be a part of something I have been waiting for for years, just because my life is more precious...even though, I could be hit by a bus in Canada tomorrow. But I still don't feel comfortable putting myself in a potentially dangerous situation.
- figure out life in general
- have things work out in my favor and the way I want them to...just once even
- not go to the concert tomorrow but secretly, I hope I am pleasantly surprised since I have low expectations
- do well this semester and year
- stop caring about everything and everyone. I'm pretty much halfway there. or more than halfway even.
- have someone to bitch to without having to hear their opinions
- have friends who celebrate Halloween with as much zest as the goras. I want to dress up and go to a Halloween party. Might wear some kinda head gear to work, if I can find anything.
- travel
- have richer friends who're willing to traipse the world with me
- have a little more freedom
- have an exciting, fulfilling career
- know what life has in store for me so I can prepare for it
- graduate
- go to grad school in a fabulous city, make fabulous friends, live a fabulous life
- not study this weekend or next week. A midterm on Monday and a final on Friday and this Saturday's a write-off.
- go shopping for boots
- stop caring about money
- eat Denny's or McDonald's or anything artery-clogging right now
- go to New York for New Year's Eve and watch the ball drop in Times Square
- meet and befriend genuine people
- undo damage done by others to others that ended up affecting me the most
- shop at Ross in California
- go to Europe, specifically Paris, Venice, Rome, London
- enjoy life more
- buy Pakistani designer clothes
- hear Ali Azmat sing live/unplugged (preferably to me :P)
- buy more designer purses
- own a sweet car
- cook
- learn how to belly dance just coz
- learn Arabic
- go to Dubai
- attend an awards show, Academy Awards, Filmfare, Lux Style...I'll be fine with any
- be an entertainment journalist
- own a restaurant
- switch back to Engineering or Sciences
- know if the decisions made have been for the best
- see the fruits of being a good girl
- eat French fries, preferably from Jinnah Super in Islamabad
- go to Freddy's in Lahore
- live in San Francisco
and finally, not be unproductively trying to study at this hour
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
It's that time of the semester again...
Every semester there comes a point in time where I stop giving a f***. Seriously, I don't care anymore. I start waking up late, getting ready in a casual manner, and missing a bus or two after the one that gets me there right on time. I don't care if I miss the first half hour of a 2-hr or 1.5-hr class. It doesn't mean much to me. I don't even care that at some point, I'll be too embarrassed to ask for missed notes...I don't want them either. We're mostly tested straight off the handout material and even that we usually end up teaching ourselves.
Which leads me to the hell that is my faculty. I hate my faculty...actually, abhorr's a better word. I ABHOR it. They have control over everything...all our classes, schedules, times, everything is picked for us...we don't get to choose anything...because we're a professional program. YET, they can't manage to keep it all organized and somewhat coherent. I swear to God, half the time we have no idea what lecture we have that day or what room its in. A week or so ago, we had NO CLUE where the final for one of our classes was...we all just picked the usual location(although, another class was scheduled to write their midterm in the same room) but since our Professor has the most pull in the faculty, he won the room. OMG...he was an AWFUL professor. These professors don't even have to teach, they just have to co-ordinate the course, i.e. pick experts from each topic needed to be covered and schedule them into the course time. He was unable to do that. So many classes were cancelled.. last minute...so many classes were interchanged...again, last minute. He had no clue what was going on...he just told his TA's to look after it all...who I am 100% sure had very little guidance from him.
Enough about bad professors, although he is the worst, moving onto retarded modules. What is with the module system anyway? Teaching 11 hours of one class/week for 4 weeks and expecting us to keep up and actually do well on the final which is a day after the last class? HOW HOW HOW?! I can't do it anymore. I also don't retain jack-shit. How can I? I'm only human. I also have another 6 hours/week class which is not an easy one (and its full-semester to boot) and a 3-hour/week gay gay gay class (for people who are unfamiliar with how college works, usually each course is 3 hours/week for an entire semester, ie 3 months). I personally don't hate the 3-hour class so much but it does get boring. And I'd love to take it with a little more freedom on how things are done. Piling on random shit like reflection notes (on what we learned in class; don't even think anyone reads what we write) and random assignments that no one understands what to do with, what is up with that?
So after taking all this crap from a faculty I care NOTHING about...I just stop giving a damn. Everything I learn, I learn at work anyway. That's what I need to know too. I'm in Pharmacy and technically, I should know ALL ABOUT DRUGS. That's what I thought I'd be taught and tested on...but NOOOOO. We're tested on random crap about Anatomy, Physio and even how to write a thank-you letter but NOT more than 3 questions on drugs. And God knows, I only care about the drugs. See what I mean? Why even bother? I study what I think is practical and applicable to real life practice. Being in a professional program, I don't need to care about my grades either (and trust me, I don't care)...so I just need to coast through, a little above average to satisfy my nerdiness and I'm fine. I am *alhumdolillah* competent and getting better by the day at my job. And that's what matters anyway. What the patients think is all that matters..if I keep getting more patients, I'll make more money so it doesn't matter how I write a thank-you letter, because people don't want to know that. They want to know how to take their medication and whether or not it will interact with their other medications and most importantly, when they'll get better. That's all anyone cares about most anyway...health. And I'm here to make them healthy. Not teach them the anatomy and physiology or letter-writing skills my faculty seems to focus on.
So yes, I don't care anymore. I need a change of scenery. I get so bored of school and this Godforesaken shit-hole place I live in..that I just want out! Even for two days!
I need to get my ass to America. I haven't been out of the country in a year now...and I always go somewhere in the summer...but didn't get a chance to this time.
I NEED to go somewhere in winter break. It's imperative.
Anyways, maybe I should study. I feel like studying something I have an exam for in two weeks as opposed to the midterm and final I have next week. The midterm is tres boring material. And mostly common sense. But I hear it's hard. *sigh* why?
I just want to graduate, start making money, buy my hot hot car (Infiniti G-37 or a used Mercedes SLK?) and Chanel purses. I'll be honest, I care about the patients, but I'm in it for the comfortable career-life and money. I just want to make enough money to sustain myself comfortably.
When will this semester end?!
P.S. If you're still confused about how the courses in my faculty work and how everything runs, don't worry...you're not alone, I don't get it either
P.P.S Excuse the mild profanity, I'm a bit p-o'd at my state of affairs and lack of determination to study
Which leads me to the hell that is my faculty. I hate my faculty...actually, abhorr's a better word. I ABHOR it. They have control over everything...all our classes, schedules, times, everything is picked for us...we don't get to choose anything...because we're a professional program. YET, they can't manage to keep it all organized and somewhat coherent. I swear to God, half the time we have no idea what lecture we have that day or what room its in. A week or so ago, we had NO CLUE where the final for one of our classes was...we all just picked the usual location(although, another class was scheduled to write their midterm in the same room) but since our Professor has the most pull in the faculty, he won the room. OMG...he was an AWFUL professor. These professors don't even have to teach, they just have to co-ordinate the course, i.e. pick experts from each topic needed to be covered and schedule them into the course time. He was unable to do that. So many classes were cancelled.. last minute...so many classes were interchanged...again, last minute. He had no clue what was going on...he just told his TA's to look after it all...who I am 100% sure had very little guidance from him.
Enough about bad professors, although he is the worst, moving onto retarded modules. What is with the module system anyway? Teaching 11 hours of one class/week for 4 weeks and expecting us to keep up and actually do well on the final which is a day after the last class? HOW HOW HOW?! I can't do it anymore. I also don't retain jack-shit. How can I? I'm only human. I also have another 6 hours/week class which is not an easy one (and its full-semester to boot) and a 3-hour/week gay gay gay class (for people who are unfamiliar with how college works, usually each course is 3 hours/week for an entire semester, ie 3 months). I personally don't hate the 3-hour class so much but it does get boring. And I'd love to take it with a little more freedom on how things are done. Piling on random shit like reflection notes (on what we learned in class; don't even think anyone reads what we write) and random assignments that no one understands what to do with, what is up with that?
So after taking all this crap from a faculty I care NOTHING about...I just stop giving a damn. Everything I learn, I learn at work anyway. That's what I need to know too. I'm in Pharmacy and technically, I should know ALL ABOUT DRUGS. That's what I thought I'd be taught and tested on...but NOOOOO. We're tested on random crap about Anatomy, Physio and even how to write a thank-you letter but NOT more than 3 questions on drugs. And God knows, I only care about the drugs. See what I mean? Why even bother? I study what I think is practical and applicable to real life practice. Being in a professional program, I don't need to care about my grades either (and trust me, I don't care)...so I just need to coast through, a little above average to satisfy my nerdiness and I'm fine. I am *alhumdolillah* competent and getting better by the day at my job. And that's what matters anyway. What the patients think is all that matters..if I keep getting more patients, I'll make more money so it doesn't matter how I write a thank-you letter, because people don't want to know that. They want to know how to take their medication and whether or not it will interact with their other medications and most importantly, when they'll get better. That's all anyone cares about most anyway...health. And I'm here to make them healthy. Not teach them the anatomy and physiology or letter-writing skills my faculty seems to focus on.
So yes, I don't care anymore. I need a change of scenery. I get so bored of school and this Godforesaken shit-hole place I live in..that I just want out! Even for two days!
I need to get my ass to America. I haven't been out of the country in a year now...and I always go somewhere in the summer...but didn't get a chance to this time.
I NEED to go somewhere in winter break. It's imperative.
Anyways, maybe I should study. I feel like studying something I have an exam for in two weeks as opposed to the midterm and final I have next week. The midterm is tres boring material. And mostly common sense. But I hear it's hard. *sigh* why?
I just want to graduate, start making money, buy my hot hot car (Infiniti G-37 or a used Mercedes SLK?) and Chanel purses. I'll be honest, I care about the patients, but I'm in it for the comfortable career-life and money. I just want to make enough money to sustain myself comfortably.
When will this semester end?!
P.S. If you're still confused about how the courses in my faculty work and how everything runs, don't worry...you're not alone, I don't get it either
P.P.S Excuse the mild profanity, I'm a bit p-o'd at my state of affairs and lack of determination to study
Monday, October 26, 2009
Saturation Point
I've reached my saturation point of listening to Tera Honay Laga Hoon after about a week of almost non-stop listening! I don't think I've heard it even once today! MFOD has left the building!
Woohoo..I'm cured
Until next time...
Woohoo..I'm cured
Until next time...
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
MFOD (Musical Fickle-y Obsessive Disorder)
True to the name of my blog, I become obsessed with certain songs , listening to them over and over, mostly on repeat and for a few days. But I can't just stick to one..that's where the fickleness comes in. Eventually, I get bored and move on.
These days, I have "Tera Honay Laga Hoon" from Ajab Prem ki Ghazab Kahani ON REPEAT! It started on Sunday, it's Wednesday and it's still on repeat. (Well, most of the time)
I LOVE this song! I'm slightly irritated when Atif tries to sing all high-pitchy but Alisha Chinai's parts are beautiful...and as always, Atif's voice did eventually grow on me.
Take a listen
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tsf7Ybkz_-s&feature=PlayList&p=A7B744EAA85948E4&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=23
These days, I have "Tera Honay Laga Hoon" from Ajab Prem ki Ghazab Kahani ON REPEAT! It started on Sunday, it's Wednesday and it's still on repeat. (Well, most of the time)
I LOVE this song! I'm slightly irritated when Atif tries to sing all high-pitchy but Alisha Chinai's parts are beautiful...and as always, Atif's voice did eventually grow on me.
Take a listen
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tsf7Ybkz_-s&feature=PlayList&p=A7B744EAA85948E4&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=23
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
I want to graduate NOW!
I've been in school faaaarrrr tooooooo looonnngggg. The end is nowhere in sight.
I come from a family of nerds but God, I hate school!!!!! My mother does not know what to do with herself if she doesn't have any studying to do. She has no expertise in passing time idly. I possess these expertise but I have no time! Ironic, right? Ya, life's a bitch...what can you do?
I just want to graduate and get the hell outta this school and this city! Seriously, I'm bored!
Degrees are 4-years for a reason...then they get BORING! My degree is 6 years long....this semester and a year and a half to go. Much much much too long!
I should have graduated in May this year. I wish I did! But on the flipside, if I would have graduated in my initial choice of program this year, I would have NEVER found a job! At least, I will *iA iA iA* have a secure, financially stable career once I graduate. Only positive. But at this point in time, even that doesn't cheer me up.
I WANT OUT!
On another note, WTF is going on in Pakistan?! I am seriously worried!!! I mean, bombing universities now? WHY WHY WHY!? Cause a guy and a girl were seen together....ssooooo???
The Afghani/Pathan types who are most likely behind these bombings are the dirtiest of men...they stare soooo much, at EVERY girl/woman passing by, for NO reason and yet, this is wrong. I HATE the hypocrisy of it all! I wonder if the two were even a couple or not.
Also, the sacrificing of others education because of these bombings, what kind of country is this? It is RIDICULOUS that people need to be scared to go get an education. Didn't Allah mian tell us to gain knowledge even if we had to go to China to do so? (Because in olden days, China was considered really far from Saudi Arabia...not because Muslims have something against the Chinese lol) That oft-quoted statement is ignored while some completely extremist interpretation of some verse that probably doesn't even come close to delivering the sentiments of the interpretation is given precedence? (I don't quite remember what verse the extremists refer to...but I'm sure their interpretation is off by miles)
Extremists piss me off! Taliban pisses me off! Anything hindering people's education and pursuit for knowledge pisses me off!
BUT, despite my pro-education stance, I still want to graduate NOW! :(
I come from a family of nerds but God, I hate school!!!!! My mother does not know what to do with herself if she doesn't have any studying to do. She has no expertise in passing time idly. I possess these expertise but I have no time! Ironic, right? Ya, life's a bitch...what can you do?
I just want to graduate and get the hell outta this school and this city! Seriously, I'm bored!
Degrees are 4-years for a reason...then they get BORING! My degree is 6 years long....this semester and a year and a half to go. Much much much too long!
I should have graduated in May this year. I wish I did! But on the flipside, if I would have graduated in my initial choice of program this year, I would have NEVER found a job! At least, I will *iA iA iA* have a secure, financially stable career once I graduate. Only positive. But at this point in time, even that doesn't cheer me up.
I WANT OUT!
On another note, WTF is going on in Pakistan?! I am seriously worried!!! I mean, bombing universities now? WHY WHY WHY!? Cause a guy and a girl were seen together....ssooooo???
The Afghani/Pathan types who are most likely behind these bombings are the dirtiest of men...they stare soooo much, at EVERY girl/woman passing by, for NO reason and yet, this is wrong. I HATE the hypocrisy of it all! I wonder if the two were even a couple or not.
Also, the sacrificing of others education because of these bombings, what kind of country is this? It is RIDICULOUS that people need to be scared to go get an education. Didn't Allah mian tell us to gain knowledge even if we had to go to China to do so? (Because in olden days, China was considered really far from Saudi Arabia...not because Muslims have something against the Chinese lol) That oft-quoted statement is ignored while some completely extremist interpretation of some verse that probably doesn't even come close to delivering the sentiments of the interpretation is given precedence? (I don't quite remember what verse the extremists refer to...but I'm sure their interpretation is off by miles)
Extremists piss me off! Taliban pisses me off! Anything hindering people's education and pursuit for knowledge pisses me off!
BUT, despite my pro-education stance, I still want to graduate NOW! :(
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Boredom
Lately, I want things to restart in two places where nothing had really happened in the first place. The one that was barely on the still-cold burner is the one I'm more interested in, since I guess, it holds more of a mystery. I wish something, anything, would happen. Life's so dull. And boredom leads to thoughts like these.
In other news, I finally quit a job that was hanging over my head. I started working at another company without quitting the first one (since I signed no contracts, its not a huge deal to be working at more than one place without informing anyone) Its a huge burden off my shoulders...I had been delaying it all week. It was a very amicable separation of ways...I'm glad.
I hope it was a good decision. Considering how badly I had been wanting to hear back after my interview and how increasingly irritated I was becoming of things at my first job, I'm guessing it is for the better. Let's wait and watch.
I hope life is only going to get better from here on in and more interesting too. I'm bored. Very bored.
In other news, I finally quit a job that was hanging over my head. I started working at another company without quitting the first one (since I signed no contracts, its not a huge deal to be working at more than one place without informing anyone) Its a huge burden off my shoulders...I had been delaying it all week. It was a very amicable separation of ways...I'm glad.
I hope it was a good decision. Considering how badly I had been wanting to hear back after my interview and how increasingly irritated I was becoming of things at my first job, I'm guessing it is for the better. Let's wait and watch.
I hope life is only going to get better from here on in and more interesting too. I'm bored. Very bored.
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